Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
