Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
