I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
