So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
