I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i would punch a child for taco bell
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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