you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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