FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
