He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
