I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want to make out with him forever
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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