We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
