I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
