just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
