my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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