I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
