first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
