Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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