Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well I just put wine in my tea
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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