DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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