How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
