I think im going to throw up on grandma
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I need to stop coming to work sober
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
