Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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