I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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