Your tits are I can't wait for
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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