Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
