haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
