Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
