their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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