He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
