She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
