At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
