but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
