im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
