so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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