:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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