WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am naked and annoyed.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
