thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
