can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
