in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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