If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
