Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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