how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
