He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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