Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
