you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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