Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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