I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
