she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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