Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
