just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
