So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
