My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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