yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
