that's an acceptable place to lick
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
